Mama, you can rest, or you can burn out

Without rest you will burnout.. it’s just a matter of when.

The trouble is, that we have been conditioned by our patriarchal capitalist culture, to hustle. And during a phase of life where slowing down is the medicine, we mothers keep that hustle going strong.

Our culture tells us that if we aren’t busy; if we sit down; if we take a nap - that we are lazy, failures, or unworthy. As mothers this translates to being a shitty mum.

But.. have you ever considered that professional athletes do not perform in their peak all year round? Their muscles, their bodies, their spirits need time for recovery. If athletes trained at peak all year round, they would injure themselves and potentially be out for long periods of time…

And this is exactly what I see happening with mothers. We try to show up or achieve at our highest ability all year round.. and then we stumble.. and then we fall.. and some of us stay down for much longer than we’d like because it takes a lot longer to heal than it does to prevent an injury. And I want to tell you right now; that healing the heart, the spirit, and the nervous system takes longer than any sprained ankle.

So my suggestion is this..

Nurture yourself the way you wish others to nurture you; the way you wish your children to nurture themselves.

You matter.

Your health and well-being matter.

Your rest matters.

As well as your physiological, spiritual, and mental need for rest, rest is resistance to the patriarchal ideals of motherhood and to the patriarchal ideas of womanhood.

Teach your kids to be anti-patriarchal by teaching them that their rest is central.

”Well Yara, how the hell do I get this rest in then when I’m bursting at the seams with things to do?”

The trick is in knowing which of the balls you’re keeping in the air are made of plastic and which are made from glass. The plastic ones can be dropped at any time without great consequence, it’s the glass ones we need to protect.

Plastic balls often include things like laundry, house cleaning, cooking balanced meals, organised activities, helping out at your child’s school, hosting the family lunch etc. Glass balls are things like school drop offs, connected time with your kids (which doesn’t need to cost anything or be elaborate, your presence is enough), connected time with your partner, some enjoyable regular movement, time connected to meaningful people (i.e. friendships where you can be you’re true self).

Sometimes, the glass balls are all we can manage in order to stay active in the game for the long haul. The. long, haul. That’s what we’re talking about here mama. Regular periods of rest will sustain you for the long haul.

So my question to you is, how will you rest today? this week? this month?

Feel free to drop me a line and let me know how you go at yara@lifeafterbirthpsychology.com.au