Episode 30:
Emma Taylor on her journey from Undoing to ‘Becoming’: Relationships, Identity & more
Hi mamas. Join me this week as I talk to Elly Taylor, parenthood preparation and relationship specialist and author of the multi-award-winning book Becoming Us, the Couple's Guide to Parenthood, which aims to help couples bridge the gap between the ‘before’ and ‘after’ of parenthood.
In this conversation, Elly talks to me about the disparity between her expectations of motherhood and her lived experience, and how for Elly, her journey to ‘Becoming’ began with an initial period of an ‘undoing’ in the initial years following her having her first child. We discuss Elly’s experience of the changes that occurred in her marriage during her pregnancy and in their early years of navigating parenthood together, and the huge journey she underwent with regard to this through self-development, and seeking true understanding and connection with her partner.
We also discuss:
• Elly’s experience of growth and finding her voice in motherhood, and how this can initially feel vulnerable and isolating but ultimately leads to deeper, more aligned and more authentic connections.
• The power of embracing change, rather than resisting it, as it is in fact this resistance that is the real root of pain, and the power of reframing ‘identity loss’ as a form of evolution instead.
• The need to be gentle with yourself, prioritise self-care, and the need for constant recalibration when it comes to finding a balance between work, mothering and all other facets of life.
• The social narrative and expectation that motherhood completes a woman, how this perpetuates a belief that motherhood can help to fill a void, and how the reality for so many women is far from this.
I hope the message that comes through in this conversation is one that gives hope to anyone who is currently going through the intensity of some of the relationship issues we discuss here, to know that the foundations being laid now may be what allows you to have more ease in future seasons of your parenthood, like it did for Elly.
Find out more about Elly in these places: